Flipping out

· by · in , ,

Thud. Thud. Bang. Thud. Thud. Crash.
Silence. Thud. Silence. Thud. Thud. Thud.
First thing in the morning. Last thing at night.
Walking. Talking. Getting into a car. Out of a car. Up stairs, down stairs.
Into bed. Out of bed.
Whoever started this bottle flipping craze has a lot to answer for.
If you haven’t heard of this one I am surprised. It is the act of taking a half full bottle of water, or any plastic bottle for that matter. You throw it, or flip it, in the air with the intention of it landing perfectly on its base.
It first came to my social media attention when a high school kid flipped a bottle for his routine at a school talent show. With a cinematic backing track he milks his moment. Strolls out with his bottle. Walks over to a table. Pauses.  And without skipping a beat, flips his bottle.
It lands perfectly. He points to the sky. He walks away
The entire school erupted. It was pretty cool.
Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdUVtEeg9I4
Unfortunately, my kids haven’t quite mastered it. But they are resilient. And they Do. Not. Give. Up.
If you are stressed, tired, grumpy, or even just relaxing. The thud of a bottle flip grates every time. It is unbearable.
Thud. Pause. Thud. Pause. Thud. Thud. Thud.
“Do it outside would you!!!”
It was considered an inhumane interrogation technique at Guantanamo.
 “Just one more. Just one more. Seriously last time. No dad. Just last one. OK really this is it. Last one. Dad. No. “
It only ends when I grab the bottle in mid flip and throw it over the neighbours fence. His garden now resembling a recycling plant.
It’s a craze that will pass. But for now I keep my bottles very close to my chest. It only takes a second before one can be swiped from under you. I curse that high school kid and his coolness.
I say that. But when I’m home alone you might find me sashaying around the dining room table, pretending I am back at school. Pausing. Then flipping. And when I make it. Both my hands go in the air. I am back at school.
I am a water bottle flipping rockstar.