A school holiday poem

Merry Xmas to those that celebrate. Happy holidays to those that don’t. Here’s a Xmas/summer holiday poem for you. Enjoy

Hooray it’s nearly summer the kids will finish school

We can gather as a family and splash around the pool

Everyone’s excited it’s an awesome time you hear

We will have a great big party to celebrate New Year.


One week into summer. The holidays began

The first two days were awesome hanging with my fam

But my kids had a fight and one had a fall

And the eldest put his foot through my freshly painted wall


Two weeks into summer. I’ve got something to confess

These cheeky little buggers are causing me some stress

There so much screaming and shouting and I tried to keep it quiet

But our neighbours called the police cause they thought there was a riot


Three weeks into summer they haven’t moved their arse

Find some friends or go outside this is a fucking farce

You lazy little buggers you must get out my face

Time you left the house and give your mum and I some space


4 weeks into summer. The sun is beaming down.

The whinging doesn’t stop they’re acting like a clown

Dad we are hungry “take us for some treats”

No chance you numptys you can order uber eats.


5 weeks into summer. I’m slightly catatonic.

I’ve poured myself my 58th double gin and tonic

“I’m a parent get me out of here” I’m going around thebend

I’m going to have to punch myself directly on the head


6 weeks into summer. My wife has gone ballistic.

She turned around and told me she thinks that I’m autistic

I’m causing half the mess she says and I’m always reallylazy

It’s not me it’s the xanax, it’s making me real hazy


7 weeks into summer. I’m sitting all alone.

Sucking on my thumb and staring at my phone

I’m done you see. It’s over. The holidays have won

I’m beaten bashed and broken I can only blame my son


1 week into term and school has started – yup.

Everything is rosy and things are looking up

I miss my darling children and I’ve got to say

I want them back home for another holiday